Sir, I must profusely apologise for my absence from our club. I had taken delivery of some fine Brandy at a very agreeable price. A visit from the local constabulary did alert me to some irregularities, and thus to avoid the duty men I have been touring
I signed a contract by which I was given unlimited money for whatever I wanted and, after 10 years, I'd be taken to be turned into a limbless android to live in a suitcase forever. (image by Zincubis)