Your wife drained the neighbor's nuts with the same lips that will kiss you when you get home from work. Now his nut juice is traveling down her throat
What this thing? I dunno, I found it sneaking around my home. It begged me not to kill it, and it looked so helpless I took mercy on it. Luckily, its tight and self lubricating, I think I'll keep this fleshlight a while (beeeeen)